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Monday, June 28th, 2004

Time Event
11:28p
Well, I've been a member of the community for quite sometime (since it first started, actually) and I've been intending to post something but have never managed to work up the motivation.

What and who I am is not important (mostly because I'm going through an identity crisis) but rather what I think my job is. My spiritual job. A strange calling that I have felt so strongly ever since I met a girl. A girl named Kate.

My best friend is Katie. Or what she prefers to be called these days, just Kate. She's a strong woman, she always has been. Even when I met her in 8th grade. She was always strong. She was independent. She was wise and knowledgable of the world around her and a strong feminist. She was responsible, quick-witted and had the definate appearance and attitude of someone who could take care of herself.

Yet she is not as stable as she seems. I discovered that after I reached my hand out to her and became her friend. We're now best friends and have been as such for 4 years. We've gone through some troubles and bumps- as do all relationships. We've had our share of arguments or disagreements- but I've always been faithfully there for her, even continuing to look out for her when she claimed to hate me. She would always come back to me and I would always come back to her.
We were harsh on things. Blatantly honest. We didn't skip around the truth and sugarcoat it. There were those close to us that called us bitches. *snickers.*

We connected the summer before our Freshmen year in highschool and we never looked back. We had both dealt with a great deal of pain, especially Kate. I wanted to be there for her and be a solid foundation for her when her world seemed to fall.
I consider myself to be very protective of her. I gaurd her and would give up my life for her to this day. Sometimes we don't talk a lot, sometimes we don't see eachother often, but it is still there. Every time I thing of her I am reminded how much I am devoted to keeping her safe.

Some have said she merely controls me. That she steps on me and pushes me around. Those same people have also called me submissive and weak-minded, accusing me of bending to the whim of Kate against my own free will. This is not the case, however. I trust her with every muscle in my body, every ounce of blood that flows through my veins. I trust her with all my heart and soul. And I would like to think, and I think I know, that she feels the same.
We're best friends in the deepest and truest form of it. We're sisters and are incredibly close.

Ever since she found her boyfriend I've felt a little misplaced. He bacame her solid rock and I was no longer needed. There were times when I was pushed away, mistreated or ignored... but I remained there. Like a devoted mutt I remained by her ankles until she called upon me again. When she had trouble with her mate, it was always my turn to step up and comfort her.

We still have a connection, even if I don't get a chance to protect her as much as I wish I could. I still protect her on a spiritual and mental level. I watch out for her, concern for her and worry about her often. She is my best friend and I am her gaurdian. I will always be there for her, no matter what. I am devoted to her... some may think I'm crazy with how strongly I am attached to her... but in a sense it is a love. A love that I don't think anyone will ever understand. (And no, I'm not saying I'm gay. e.e)

Anyway, that's my story. I'm the gaurdian of a girl named Kate. I will remain so until the end of all things.

Current Mood: contemplative

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